A Letter of Hope

Finding myself sentimental and very close to my emotions- so bear with me as I let you read an excerpt from my journal. I was so touched by this Sunday's Relief Society lesson on hope and that it is very important to have no matter what the circumstance. This is my way of finding hope, it came to me early this morning and as a letter to my future child.

My future child,                                                                                                                        
We are going to be your parents someday. Our names are Stephen Alan Persons and mine is Larann Mary Sims. You will find out more about us when we are together. As I lay here with my laptop on my bed I type thinking of you. Your daddy is jerking himself awake every so often and accidentally whacked me with his arm. If you don't know who is writing this to you let me tell you then, I am your mother. I don't know if I will give birth to you, if you will be from your dad or just from me, or if we will get to raise you from another family or even if we will see you in this lifetime all I know is that I miss you and can't wait for you to come into our lives. We (your parents) have been married for a little over three years and have been trying to have you for two. We will tell you about the 'birds and the bees'  when it comes time. There is so much you probably know about us but probably won't remember when you come. I know this because if you are anything like me you watch your parents from heaven. My mother told me that when I was just three I pointed out her parents in a photo before ever seeing them in person. I hope what you have seen are the good parts of both of us. You probably see your dad being the calm and smart one and me being the eccentric and artsy, likes to jump to conclusions one. These traits are good in some ways but can be completely annoying. I will try to work on my weaknesses for you and improve my strengths. I felt the need to write you this letter and tell you how we met and just how much you mean to us even though you may not even be born at this time, we love you wherever you are. I want to tell you about me, your dad, and how we got together.

I was born in Hayward, California to Larry and Rose Sims. I lived there until I was three and then moved to Arizona, where I ended up meeting your father. I have lived in four different states. I have an Associates in Elementary Education and am currently working on a Bachelors in Art Studies from Arizona State University. Long story short on my education, I thought I liked teaching but really I like art and drawing way more. You will probably see some of my work soon. I have many loves, home decorating, spending time with family, spending time writing and talking to friends, drawing, swimming, playing tennis. Oh, I could tell you stories of how your dad and I use to play racket ball while we were engaged and early on in our marriage. I would hit the ball up over the wall and into the other half of the park, this out of control strength has been also seen in my golfing too. Which was a big part of why we were laughing so hard on our first date. We do like to laugh and often try to find happiness in hard times.

Your dad, Stephen Alan Persons was born in Glendale, Arizona at the hospital at 55th and Thunderbird. He is home grown and more stable and honorable than I ever thought anyone could be. He went on his mission to Ohio, Cleveland to be exact. He served in the city and in the farming area of Ohio. The stories from his mission range from following promptings to avoid being shot at, to his companions not being so "companiony." But he got through that and he realizes now that he is stuck with an eternal companion, who is hopefully way better.  He is pursuing his college education at Midwestern University and about to start his rotations as a Pharmacists major. Your papa is a big science nerd. I love him for that. I bet he will want to someday make all sorts of stuff with you like homemade volcanoes, rock candy, and more stuff than I can think of right now. He misses you too. I can see that in his face when we play with your cousins, Diedric and Benjamin. They are such fun little boys. D is just learning how to say phrases and communicate and it is hilarious to hear what he says sometimes. Benji loves when we make faces at him and tickle his cheeks.  We hope that we can have that much fun and love with you and hopefully more.

Now, onto how we met. I may be a little foggy on the details because we have not got our story straight but here is my version. I met you dad the first couple of times at a fireside. Probably, the second time I met him. We began talking and knew each other from before. That is an activity for young single adults through our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I passed him a paper during it, we will show you that when you get older. But let's just say that it said something like meeting your dad is a gift from Heavenly Father and now four years from that point I realize that is very true. Then the time before the fireside I met him at Melody Mills, then she was Melody Moody before getting married, at her reception. I don't remember every detail but he says that I basically ignored him after he introduced himself, this was in November of 2007. Your momma can be quite stubborn sometimes. We didn't really hit it off until late February. Well, we had seen each other at the dances for YSA quite often and he took me home once or twice. He recently told me that he looked for me at the New Year's Dance of 2008 and I was not there (because I was sick). Then there was a conference for the YSA in February, and he sat by me a lot...which I liked that.  We had our first official date on February 29 of 2008, on Leap Year. We went miniature golfing and he had me laughing so hard that I had my makeup running down my face from happy tears. We got engaged exactly two months later and married in July 12, 2008 in the Mesa, Arizona Temple. The best day of my life. The temple is such a wonderful place and I got to share that special time with your dad. Which I hope that you will share that with someone someday. There is no comparison than going through the temple and doing the work there in.

I have so much to say to you but I am just unsure of how exactly to put it. At times I find myself trying to remember dreams that I have of my children, there is a feeling there that I just cannot shake. Your sweet spirit and giggles as you are running through sprinklers in the backyard. Your feet as they come running down the hall. The way you say our names are just a few of the things that I have dreamed about. I miss you my baby even though I have not met you yet even though I feel like I already know you. I am praying that you will be in our lives soon.